Now, I finally know why, I always have this special urge or feeling to write a tribute essay for my late grandparents.
Somehow, my sub-conscious knows that yesterday was the annual tomb-cleaning day, and it tried to use this method to remind me.
Seriously speaking, I hate it. I hate it when I had successfully put these sad memories into deep sleep, was awaken due to some reason to sadden me.
I am not being unfilial, it is just that I hate to cry. I hate to cry openly infront of so many people, and yet these memories would make me do it. The immediate reaction I had when I saw their pictures was my eyes to brim with tears. It was as if those droplets of tears were queueing one by one, impatiently, waiting to fall down my eyes.
Then following, would be those happy moments I had with them. When it all reaches this stage, my heart would aches even more. Worse of all, I would then realise that the memories I had for them were so vague and little. Guiltness would by then overwhelm my heart.
Painful.
Thats why, I am really not being unfilial here, really.
Sayonara
Jean