Mad

Feeling rather happy this week.
People may find me crazy, when I'm standing alone and laughing to myself.
Well I don't care. ^^
Though not everything is going my way, but it seems like, even if the world is collapsing soon, it is not gonna affect me. ^^

I'm giving myself realistic hopes and setting realistic goals.
Last lap. This marathon will end soon.
Following that, I'll start running the other life marathons. And I'm pretty sure that there will be tougher challenges ahead, waiting for me.
Though they may seem intimidating, I have found the courage to face them already. ^^

Run For It!!!
Jean

Chaos

Chaotic week.
Consultation slots are jumping all over the place. :(
Need to reschedule my consultations.

ARGH!

YAY!
10.10.10 is (according to Jean's calendar) BEN TEN's DAY! Hope can spend at least half an hour to watch one of Ben Ten episode. :)
Mummy just mentioned that 10.10.10 is an auspicious day, so she is planning on a gathering to celebrate.
Er... ok, I don't mind. Cool, a break before A levels. :)
But spare me the morning to revise my math thank you very much!

:)

Jean

:)

With a twist of fate.
...
...
Officially in love. :)

不会再担心，害怕，或怀疑了。
因为已经有了答案。
...
...
恋爱了:)

Jean

Crazy

I'm going crazy soon.

Why do I have to face all these endless annoyances?

I brought it upon myself.

Who else can I blame besides me?

Why can't I understand myself better and know what I want?
Why is it so hard to sort things out, so hard to decide, so hard to try and so hard to love?

I need a way to end this.

Desperately.

Jean

Surprises

Talking about being surprised, I realised, so far, no one ever managed to surprise me.
Partly because, my family can't keep secrets and I'm a curious person, with the help of "underhand means", very soon, I'll get them talking.

:P Muahahaha!!!

From past experiences, I realised that expectations and surprises doesn't get along.
So a friendly advise, if you want to be surprised, stop expecting one. :D

PS: MINI DANBO IS SUPER CUTE!!!
I WANT!!!
I'll buy myself one with my first salary.... which will be like in 6 months time? :(
ARGH!!! Can't Wait!!!

Jean

Whirl, Swirl, Twirl

I think Mr Messy has found himself a new place to settle.
My mind.

I'm desperately trying to sort out my thoughts.
Trying to straighten things out.

Thought, going out for a chill will make me feel better, but, no, it became messier.

I have alot of questions in my mind. I need to seek for answers.

Lots of people advised me to follow my heart. I guess the premise to this advise is that your heart is clearheaded.
But please, my heart and my mind is already in a mess, how do you expect me to trust it's judgement?

Its killing me!!!

In a mess
Jean

Love and Being loved

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.

- Lao Tzu

相爱的时候,不是因为我们找到了完美,而是我们学会用完美的眼光去看不完美。

- 老子

Just some random thoughts that surfaced while I was brainstorming for my story. :D

Jean

Misplaced

I've been searching for a feeling, which I thought I've 'misplaced' it somewhere.
I had it with me 2 years ago, but somehow or rather, I thought, it went missing.

Never thought I'd find it again.
Then, I guess...
A part of it came back.

Hope.

Thank you for showing me that glimpse light when I'm at my darkest moment.

最初的判断成为了生命的盲点，
挡住了我看见其他可能的视线。
一直在寻找的，原来就在身边。

Jean

Idling

How wonderful.
Gastric acted up this morning
and it lasted throughout the entire chemistry paper.
(Yes I'm guessing that it will affect my performance for the paper. Just imagine, I have to fight the MCQs and the pain at the same time. DOUBLE BLOW!)
Then I have to rush home because I'm anticipating reflux.
Vomitted twice.
How wonderful.
I've this feeling that my gastric problem is worsening. :(
Oh my... I don't want to go through another scope session! :(

Slept through the whole afternoon.
After dinner, I began to work on my song.
And yeah, got the tune and lyrics done.
Now its time to fret about the background music.

So I guess I did not idle my day away, at least I got something done. :D

Jean

Negatives

The question is no longer "whether I know what I want in life."
The question now is "Even if I know what I want, can I do it?"

My sis came home today rejoicing about how she has made tremendous improvements academically.
I know she would definitely do very well for her O levels.
That is one load off my mind.

As for me, 49 days or lesser to A levels.
Just when I thought things are going to get better for me this time round. Just when I thought things are going on fine between me and prelims.
Reality just has to make me think otherwise.
I felt like I've stepped on a landmine.
Negativity really sinks in today.
How wonderful.

I was depressed.
Was.
Because thank god, music exists in this world.
If not, I don't know how am I going to survive this ordeal.

I wouldn't mind to repeat myself.
My sister is lucky because she has Mdm Yeo with her to keep her going.
I was just as lucky as her. If not luckier.
Because I had both Miss Soh and Mdm Yeo with me when I was fighting O levels.

This year I have none.

My 13 point is for them. (Though 13 points isn't exactly worth being proud of, but trust me, if you know me well, judging by my calibre, you will do the same - exclaim with joy - even if its just a 13.)
...
...
...

This year I have none.

PS: Thank god only 49 more days to the end of sufferings!
Oh no! only 49 more days left!

Jean