Flying off

Flying Off in 10 hours time.

Bon Voyage to us, Merry Christmas in advance and of course, Happy Birthday to me in advance. :P

Jean

Fear

A sense of fear overwhelms me again.

Its a nagging fear that has been bugging me for so long.

Oppression, in the past, used to work out fine. However recently, when I tried to oppress this nagging fear, it seemed to be quite useless.

I can neither avoid it nor face it.

I don't want to show others my fear, so I try hiding it. I hid it so well, no one noticed that this fear had bugged me for so long. I coerced myself into being another individual when I'm in front of others. I'm not myself.

Time doesn't make any noise. It will crept by quietly and unknowingly. I knew very well that one day, what I feared will come true. I felt so helpless, I can't do anything to stop it from happening.

... ... ... ...

Jean

48 hours

Flying off in 48 hours time.

Oh man... I'm gonna get motion sickness again....

Jean

Realisation

I realised, no matter how many hours I've slept, I still feel extremely exhausted. I felt like sleeping whenever I'm at home. This is definitely not helping my revision.

Last week , I strained my vocal cords too much and now, I'm at the mist of losing my voice. :D Ok, now I realised that if I exploit my vocal cords too much, they will go on strike.

On a side note, I realised that I've been deceiving myself. I've been trying to force myself into having faith in something that I don't even believe in. Everything is not working out. I only have myself to blame I guess.

Jean

Guilty

I think, I'm insane.

I've reached a state that if I don't study for a day, I'll feel extremely guilty, following that, I'll start reprimanding myself for not studying, then scare myself with A levels, and after that I'll threaten to starve myself, and whatnot....

But, when I'm determined to open my books and start studying, I'll get too distracted with all the things around me and in the end, I'll end up wondering away to some unknown wonderland.

Then I'll start feeling guilty, start reprimanding myself, start to scare myself to death, start to threaten myself and whatnot...

( and the cycle goes on....)

This is what I'm feeling right now. I'm pretty positive that I'm mentally ill.

COME ON!!! ITS MY HOLIDAY!!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

I can't believe I'm saying this but, right now, I rather go to school. I mean at least I'll know that my priorities would be studying and not get too distracted with all the miscellaneous things that I'll only do during holidays.

SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!!!

I'm insane... I'm insane... I'm insane....
Jean.

Title-less

(I ran out of ideas for post titles, so yar, I name this one title-less.)

Went for vocal lesson today. Love it!!! :D

I'm very irritated with myself. I've got abit of time management issue here. I have so much to do but so little time! I kept spending time on the wrong things. I really should know how to prioritize my stuff.

BLEH.

Jean

Vocal

Went for my first vocal lesson today. :D

I'M SO HAPPY!!! :D HAHA BECAUSE I GET TO SING TO MY HEART'S CONTENT!!! (Without being complained by my irritating neighbour.) :D Thats something worth being happy about. :D

I love singing. I love everything about it! I just love fretting over those notes that I can't pitch properly, I just love enjoying the melodious tune coming out of my mouth, I just love worrying for my soring throat, I just love immersing myself in music...etc.

Looking forward to the next lesson on Wednesday. :D

Jean

Life is just like a piece of music, a repertoire, a song.

I just thought of this:

Life is just like a piece of music, a repertoire, a song.

It has its crescendos and decrescendos. Occasionally, ornaments are used to spice up the repertoire a little: to make it more exciting and eventful. Sometimes it just sounds wonderful. And at times, a handful of accidentals just have to appear at the weirdest moments/ the most inappropriate times, creating an awful sound to the piece.

However dynamics constitute the emotions of the piece and ornaments make the piece more interesting. Although unexpected accidentals that appear at the wrong place are unpleasant to have, it’s undeniable that it is important because it makes the whole piece of repertoire extraordinary. Without all these, music just isn’t music.

Love your music: Love your life. It’s special.

Disclaimer: The above content is more than anything, product of my inspirations from my life. Any form of similarities, are purely coincidence.

Jean

Not too happy with myself

I'm not too happy with myself.

My enthusiasm towards everything I do wanes quickly.

Thats dumb.

Jean

Camera! Say Cheese!

Got a new camera! :D

Its a Blue Canon Power Shot A480 :D

10.0 Mega.Pix :D

I Guess, its not that high-end type but at least it is better than my previous one. :D So who is complaining? HAHA.

This is how it looks like :D

Jean

Cooking

My Grandma is moving in a month's time.

This means that, nobody is gonna be there and prepare our dinner. This also means that, Net and I have to do the cooking.

Which this is a good thing for Net and a bad thing for me because I can't cook!

In order to ensure that I do not to throw the burden of preparing dinner for the family to Net, Mum asked me to be around whenever she is cooking, so that I could learn something, and at the same time, share the burden of dinner preparation with Net.

So... A few moments ago, I cooked my first bowl of fried rice. :D

Looks nice and erm... I think it taste nice too. :D

I'm so happy. :D

My first bowl of Fried Rice. I name it: Jean's Special!

Jean