This week I totally wore myself out, regardless physically, emotionally or mentally.
I was extremely frustrated and irritated with every little thing around me. I was extremely stressed, nervous and anxious because of the upcoming exams. I felt more strongly when it comes to my music exam.
The fear of failing, the fear of disappointing my teacher, parents and of course myself was overwhelming. The anxieties had made me lose my mind. I practically throw my temper and vent my frustrations on everyone around me.
It was like... I'm being strangled by a rope, I could hardly breathe. I tried hiding, I tried escaping from all of these troubles and anxieties by diverting my attention to something else or probably turning in early to avoid thinking too much, but all my efforts were of no avail.
I'm suffocating... I need to take a breather...
Jean
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Written Report
I was pretty stressed out and irritated with the school today.
My written report was rejected. I was told to re-print them.
I wouldn't have to go through all this if my school was a little more organize. They stated in that dumb handouts of theirs, saying that, "All Written Reports must be bound/stapled together with the official cover page." and now, it got rejected because I bound them.
As a prudent person I had read through that irritating handout a million times, just to make sure that they really accept bound written report!
Because holes were punched on to my official cover page, I asked my tutor if she still has any extras. To my delight she said yes! However following the good news, was that we can't use another fresh sheet of official cover page because one of our group mate wasn't in school to sign it! Without her signiture, we can neither hand in nor use it! Why can she just attend school?!
That was the last straw. I blew my top.
Be thankful that, that wasn't the worse.
Believe me, you'll never want to see that side of me.
Extremely frustrated
Jean
My written report was rejected. I was told to re-print them.
I wouldn't have to go through all this if my school was a little more organize. They stated in that dumb handouts of theirs, saying that, "All Written Reports must be bound/stapled together with the official cover page." and now, it got rejected because I bound them.
As a prudent person I had read through that irritating handout a million times, just to make sure that they really accept bound written report!
Because holes were punched on to my official cover page, I asked my tutor if she still has any extras. To my delight she said yes! However following the good news, was that we can't use another fresh sheet of official cover page because one of our group mate wasn't in school to sign it! Without her signiture, we can neither hand in nor use it! Why can she just attend school?!
That was the last straw. I blew my top.
Be thankful that, that wasn't the worse.
Believe me, you'll never want to see that side of me.
Extremely frustrated
Jean
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Partly Cloudy - Being ME.
Since when my life is a vivace repertoire?
Black and white.. perhaps with a few patches of grey here and there... These are what constitute my life. I'm frustrated that it lacks vibrant colours. I'm frustrated with how my life always works, so dull and mundane.
This is me.
I'm Restricted, ensnared, trapped and chained with doing things that I don't think I enjoy doing.
I was told that I never listens to myself.
I was advised to listen to what that little voice of mine is saying, because, it is speaking on behalf of what I really felt, what I really want. It is speaking on behalf of the things that I've never paid much attention to, It is speaking on behalf of the things that I delibrately ignored/hide due to my lack of courage.
Expressing myself was never an easy task. I find it hard to speak my mind.
* I guess its Just Me and my 'Partly Cloudy' life. (Neither too bad, nor too good)
Bored to the MAX.
Jean
Black and white.. perhaps with a few patches of grey here and there... These are what constitute my life. I'm frustrated that it lacks vibrant colours. I'm frustrated with how my life always works, so dull and mundane.
This is me.
I'm Restricted, ensnared, trapped and chained with doing things that I don't think I enjoy doing.
I was told that I never listens to myself.
I was advised to listen to what that little voice of mine is saying, because, it is speaking on behalf of what I really felt, what I really want. It is speaking on behalf of the things that I've never paid much attention to, It is speaking on behalf of the things that I delibrately ignored/hide due to my lack of courage.
Expressing myself was never an easy task. I find it hard to speak my mind.
* I guess its Just Me and my 'Partly Cloudy' life. (Neither too bad, nor too good)
Bored to the MAX.
Jean