Unpredictable

What a tough week. I never thought I need to write this entry. I thought I never have to.

For the past 6 days, I found myself in a difficult situation, as if I was practicing a high wire acrobat performance, struggling to balance myself emotionally and of course the stress of facing my prelims.

Someone left us in the family. It mades me think that life is very unpredictable. One moment shes there smiling happily at us and now shes not with us anymore. She left us peacefully, so I think its not respectful to feel sad. I think we shouldn't cry due to sadness, I bet she wouldn't want us to feel sad and cry either.

I remained solemn throughout the entire 5 days funeral ceremony. I didn't cry, even though I had the strong urge to do so.

Take a break from the sorrowness. I didn't know that I have such a big family that consist of so many relatives. It had been years since I last saw them. Guilty as charge, I felt that I did not spend enough time with them.

Now that she had left us, the link that connect me and them seemed to have broken. I wonder when will I see them again?

Then again, goodbye... great grandmother. You will always be in my heart.

Jean