OK... Seriously. I didn't sleep last night and I'm a little touchy.
Many thanks to Shaan and Adeline for acompanying my down to Braddell to check out the class tee material and size, even though today is your holiday.
Intentionally I wanted to spend 7 hours sitting infront of the PC to finish the class tee touch up by skipping my sleep, but I ended up slamming and crashing the computer over and over again for 3 hours. This dumb slow thing kept hanging on me, I was so afriad that I can't finish it on time for the printings. Thank goodness, today, Mr Ben said he could do the touch up for me. In which means that I could now sleep in peace.
Come to the thought of it. Why should I worry about all these when prelims are just around the corner? Why should I sacrifice my sleep, spend so many hours drawing, worrying, correcting, dying to finish something that won't even help me to excel in my exams??? Why am I the one expected to contact the manufacturer, and pull 2 of my friends early in the morning to go down all the way to Braddell just to check on the materials, sizes and if allow to, place order on my holiday??? I didn't volunteer myself this job you know??? I really could have just searched the net, find myself a picture and say:"HEY!!!! Thats the design for our class tee shirt!!!" But I chose to draw, I chose to stay up all night just to colour and draw out the work. When I don't know how to do something, I am expected to learn because somehow or rather I am incharge of this thing, I can't be so irrseponsible and push all of this job to my friends.
So... I've done nothing.... Yup thats right, I've DONE NOTHING AT ALL.
All my sacrificed nights had gone down the drain. I'm such a failure. Spent so many hours working and yet I produced nothing at all. If I produced nothing, how come theres a design of our T shirt being shown to the manufacturer???
I don't want to claim credits. I just want your understanding, I can't hold on any longer I need people to share my workload. Should you think my workload aren't heavy enough to push this task to you or you think my reason of letting you handle this task aren't justifying and convicing enough, try encountering the time when the computer won't cooperate, the time won't cooperate, the schedule won't cooperate, so many things else won't cooperate with you when you are dying to work something out of the blue. Should you think that coordinating something like this is easy. Try it yourself.
WHY??? What have I done wrong??? I just want to rest. Can't I just take a break??? I've been praying that I would fall sick somehow, so at least I could give myself a period of time to take a breather, am I charged guilty for begging time to rest???
I'm not a smart person. All I know is to look straight and act according to things planned. I don't know how to react to immediate situations and I can't accept changes. But I know what are my duties and what are not.
I have my own problems and things to deal with, and should this be the situation I would face in the future when I start working. I'll take back my words. I rather not grow up.
(((Frustrated)))
Jean