The real Jean.
She has fallen into a deep deep pit.
Unable to escape.
Surrounded by narrow darkness.
Obscured by multiple facades.
Trapped.
Masked.
She is dying to break free.
Can someone save her?
It is so difficult to be myself.
I feel like I'm adopting other's identity as mine.
I feel like I'm walking around with a shell over me. Dragging it along with me wherever I go. Its coercing me to conform to decorum of some sort.
Its heavy.
Restricted.
I tried all means to be perfect; but my efforts are futile.
Its difficult to be this 'perfect figure' when you are well aware that you are not.
I'm flawed.
I'm imperfect.
I'm afraid to be judged.
Can I be myself?
Can anyone accept a flawed Jean?
PS: I find it funny when someone - whom I'm not exactly close with - told me that, she could sensed that I'm comfortably myself when I'm on stage.
Unbelievable?
Yes, I find it very hard to believe it myself too.
Jean