I was listening to the pieces I once played when I was in band.
Well, it certainly did bring back fond memories, and of course it brought back my guilt.
I kept asking myself, if I had stayed on, and not walked out on them, will things be different?
I was a quitter, and I think, as far as I'm concerned, to a certain extent, I am a quitter.
I have no confidence in my commitment level. I never had.
Even to the extent that I fear, that my commitment level towards music will fade off someday.
I fear, what if one day, I'll grow tired of music, or even things that I'm currently interested in.
I fear, that I cannot stay committed to something, and worse come to worst, even to someone.
Thats why, though I keep saying that I can't live without music, pictures, and stories, deep inside me, I know very well that I don't deserve to love them, and they certainly deserve better.
Because I don't qualify.
Because my heart and I are wanderers.
Jean