Frankly speaking, I'm quite amaze with my ability to deceive myself and/or escaping from reality.
Not to think about a problem, doesn't mean that the problem has been solved.
Sigh~ I ought to know this theory very well... however, I never seem to learn my lesson.
I'm well aware that if I cogitate.. or rather dwell further, I may land myself in the quicksand situation again. (The more I struggle to get something done, the more I'll fail doing so.)
I need to escape while I can. Yes, go ahead, criticise me. Say that I'm a coward, an escapist.
I don't mind, because I don't want to put myself in that grueling position again.
PS: It pains me to know that you are not ok... or rather, you were never ok.
It pains me to know that when you needed help, I can't seem to assist you in anyway.
I'm frustrated for not being much of a use.
I feel so helpless when I can only see you suffer from afar, and can't do anything to lessen your load.
I'm angry with myself for not being there when you needed me.
...Sorry...
Jean