Last post for JUNE.

Recently, I went to review all of my previous entries.

To be very truthful, I find myself quite irritating. Especially, during the times when I'm bored, when I just post/update for the sake of posting/updating. Thats the time when I would totally waste my time crapping away and blog nonsense.

Thus, I find myself quite irritating, at times. :D

I don't like to explain myself, I never like explaining. No matter how I'm being maligned, I simply refused to explain. For I think explanation is somehow, indirectly equivalent to, connected to, related to, or rather, simply lies. In the other words, to me, most of the explanations are covered with lies. Inregardless of white lies or just lies that hurts.
Besides, who would bother to listen, who would bother to care about what my explanations are??? Especially when they were so worked up over something, so agitated that they simply just can't listen to anyone.

Thus, why bother to explain??? :P

I get agitated and irritated easily recently. Must be the heat, I assumed. Adding on to that terrible terrible heat, STRESS is one of the factors that I really can't stand. (FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! DON'T ASK ME TO SIT!!!) Too many things on my hands rushing to meet those drawing-near deadlines. Come on... I'm still a kid, like a 5 year old kid trapped in a 17 year old body!!! I don't know how much longer I could hold on to these things.

I'm going to BLOW!!!

Great... another annoying, meaningless, unorganized entry to vent out my thoughts, to vent my anger and frustrations, to pend down my reflections.

Hmmm... I wonder... how much would I score for my composition, if I would write like this during my exams??? Nah... I'm just wondering. Won't take it seriously. Besides, I'm not that dumb to risk my grades for just one useless experiment right???

But then again.... Am I???

Nonsensical
Jean

Done with it!!!

After 2 days of hard work, the final design of class tee shirt is finally done!!!!

WOO HOO!!!

Happy day!!!!

Jean

Run away

Finally, it had reached the state that I dreaded going home, wished to turn in early, so that I wouldn't face all of these nonsense.

我始终选择逃避，始终选择不去面对。

我开始习惯早睡。并不是因为我想过什么健康的生活。而是因为只有睡觉，进入梦乡，我才能把现实生活所经历的不悦暂时抛到脑后或九霄云外。可是每当早晨一觉醒来，我就会感到惋惜，为何梦里的美好，不可以延续下去。为什么，现实那么残酷。

讨厌放学不想回家，我想也是我逃避的一种策略。因为一回家，就必须面对问题，脑子就必须不停的想方法解决，而我又会开始心烦意乱，就会想早点进入梦乡。这种恶性的循环，还得维持多久？

什么时候？我们一家人又可以恢复，像以前一样开心呢？

我想现在，也只有亲情才有法子把我烦得团团转....

Jean

如果

有个想法...
我觉得...
不可以硬把一个人带到一个并不属于他的地方。
TMS太复杂，我觉得单纯的睿根本不适合那里。可能一开始，我们就不应该把他带到那里。可能一开始，我们就错了。如果一开始，睿没去TMS可能他会快乐一点。可能...这一切一切的纷争就不会开始。

我常在想“如果”。“如果这事没发生那该有多好”，“如果..如果...”

虽然我知道，如果的事，永远不会发生。但我却每次一遇到不如意的事，我就会情不自禁的想∶“如果...希望时间倒流...”之类的话。

虽然很可笑，很傻，但我还是得说∶“如果纷争没发生...该有多好？？？”

Jean

I'm ageing....

Now... I can't even stay up all night like I used to when I was young. I can even fall asleep when I was reading my favourite Archie Comics, Japanese Manga or watching television.

Conclusion: I AM GETTING OLD!!!!!

Great... All my teeth will fall off in no time... To think that I've just removed my braces.... What's the point man... What's the point????

OOOOHHHH!!! I AM GETTING OLD!!!!

Terrible news!!!!

And... Again... I am very bored... Just ignore me... I just want to get attention... :P

Adios!!!

ZnO

Writer's block???

When I am having writer's block, what do you think would appear in my blog entry???

Let me tell you: A whole lot of crap.

ya.. I can't think of anything to write right now... What can this entry be about??? Let me think....

1) My holidays
Nah... too last season and boring

2) My feelings right now
Blockhead!!! I am having writer's block!!! My mind is as blank as a piece of white paper.

3) Something about today
I just sit in the living and watch TV whole day... Oh and er... I have bought Xavier's birthday present!!!

4) My view about something
I've just said that I am having writer's block!!!

5) ... ... ... ... OH!!! FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! JUST QUIT BLOGGING AND TURN IN THIS INSTANCE!!!
Ok, ok, you don't have to yell!!!, I get it, TURN IN right??? Ya... I get it!!!

(Look/Read the above)

Well... come to the thought of it, my writing block aren't that serious after all!!!

Ya... I admit... I am very bored right now...

ZnO

Thank goodness it is just a dream

I'm awakened by a terrifying dream I just had a few hours ago. It seemed so real, and for some reason, I thought that it was really happening to me!!!

I dreamt that I am on a plane to Thailand for a holiday trip with my friends. It was a smooth-sailing ride before we transit to another plane at ....I don't know what country is it. When the plane finally took off. A few hours later it's engine stopped suddenly, and the whole plane crashed back down!!!

Miraculously such a terrible crash hadn't cause anyone to be injured. Goodness Gracious!!! But the bad news was that the whole lot of us were stranded in an unknown island!!! Some of the passengers were crying they hearts out, fearing that they can't go back to their home.

Then suddenly... a huge wave came upon us and washed the whole lot of us away..

Next I found myself awake.

Thank goodness it is just a dream.

ZnO

一家人

我觉得...

我们都是一家人，真的不需要太计较。

不管住不住在一起，亲戚也等于一家人。

谁付出多一点，谁付出少一点，需要像拿个计算机一样，算得清清楚楚吗？

忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空

难道这不是与家人和睦共处的相处之道吗？

宽容一点，大方一点，真的有这么难吗？

ZnO

How big is it???

Tell me...

HOW BIG CAN SGH BE??? Fancy me getting lost inside that hospital..... :(

Again, last Friday, Net went to SGH with my father to check on her brain-wave scan report. I've agreed to meet them there at 3pm after my seminar which is held somewhere around that area.

Hence at 2.45pm, I reached Outram MRT station, intending to walk to block 3 of SGH. So, I passed by the National Dental Clinic, next the Cancer Centre, followed by the Eye Centre. Then I went into the Bowyer Block hoping that block 3 is around the corner, but who knows it led me to a dead end in which labelled "The Heart Centre".

Gosh, I was so damn fed up with myself. I've walking pass through all the centres and still no sight of the sickening block 3. So I asked a nurse who was walking towards me, where on earth is block 3??

Guess what she told me???

Nurse: Oh dear, block 3 is at the other end! You will have to go into block 7 before you could enter block 3. All the blocks are inter-linked.
Me:What...Thank you...

AT THE OTHER END!!!!!

What the... I'm... I'm.... Oh goodness gracious!!! SO.... I made my way TO THE OTHER END, and finally reached block 3. Now my question is... what is that clinic in which my father had mentioned before??? Is it Clinic B or G??? My intuition told me was Clinic G, thus I supposed it is clinic G.

And so.... I walked

and walked...

and walked...

and walked....

Goodness Gracious!!! Where is that Clinic G??? Just then, my phone rang, it was my father...

Daddy: Hello?? Jean??? Where are you??? we are leaving now.

WHAT!!!! LEAVING ALREADY???? I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE DOCTOR'S FACE AND THEY TELL ME THEY ARE LEAVING NOW????!!!! AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHERE AM I!!!

Me: I am outside the Outpatient Specialist Clinic.
Daddy: Why?? I mean how on earth did you made your way there???
Me: I am looking for Clinic G.
Daddy: Why do you have to look for clinic G???
Me: You told me you all were there!!!
Daddy: I said Clinic E.
Me: WHAT???!!!
Daddy: Hold on, hold on, we are coming for you.

By that time, its already 4pm.

At the end of the day Net said something: 你走一个小时都走不到那个Clinic啊??? (You have been walking for an hour and you still couldn't reach clinic E???)

Ya... How big is SGH??? You tell me...

ZnO

While i'm ....

While I'm walking, or rather, strolling along the streets at Raffles Place. I'm enjoying the scenery of the place's modernity, and at the same time, observing the people around me. I like to observe their facial expressions, their ways of dressing, their hairstyles...etc. Of course, I'm not abnormal, weird or sick. This is just a possible way to inspire me so that I am able to produce a better art piece or stories.

While I'm settled down to do my homework, I always wonder how nice if I need not attend school and hand in homeworks...etc. Always wonder the things that a little mischievious child would wonder. But when I'm back in reality, I would ask myself, why wonder?

While I'm in my father's car. I would look out of that little window, which is incapable of providing me with a bigger picture of things outside the car. I could only imagine, how does the rest of the picture looked like.

While I'm stone-ing at a little corner, isolating myself from the crowd. It is the only time I can allow myself to let my imaginations run wild. Thinking of the impossibles and neglect the possibles. It is the only time I would allow myself to talk to my inner self, the true self that I've always refused to show it to anyone, inregardless if they knows me or not. Reflecting the things I've done right and wrong throughout the past 16 years.

Sometimes I just love to live in my little world while I'm doing my little things.

"Life would be a little more interesting" I assume.

ZnO

One more day!!!! I'm counting down!!!

GREAT!!! One more day to go and I'm free from the extra lesson's grasp!!!

Can't Wait!!! Wooooo Yeah!!!!

Its time for celebrations!!!!

I'm counting down!!!!

18 more hours to go!!!!

(((HAPPY)))
ZnO

Need a good rest

Gosh, even 3 consecutive cups of cofffee can't keep me awake. Raking my brains out for a good class-tee design. Unfortunately, I'm not even half way through, and it is not even near completion.

Can't stand it, it always happens to me. When I need something to be done quickly, it always takes the longest time to complete.

All the early wakings are tiring me out, and if I understand myself well enough, on Friday, after school, I'm going to take a nap, don't even expect me to wake up for dinner. :)

After this week, I am starting an intensive revision programme for a week to catch up with my studies, as well as to prepare myself for further challenges when school reopens. In which means... no rest time again.

Well, guess I won't get my rest time until the Os are over. :(

Just my luck.

ZincOxide ZnO

Getting on my nerves

One's remark can really get on to my nerves I tell you. Being proud and boastful are the human qualities that really bugs me big time. Sometimes I just feel like slapping those people who wouldn't stop their sacarstic remarks about one being inferior to the others.

I mean... HELLO??? WHATS WRONG WITH BEING INFERIOR TO OTHERS??? CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE THEM A BIT MORE TIME AND A LITTLE CHANCE TO IMPROVE???

Boy... It really bugs me. Think about it, one scored 99 out of 100 marks for a particular test and go around telling people: "Man, I really should have done better!!! How can I allow myself to get such low marks???"

Ya... low marks alright...

Here is another example, One pass a particular test and go around boasting to those who had failed:"Man... you really should have worked harder. If you want to score well for Year End Exam, you really have to start studying now. And please, take up more tuition, you are failling your exams!!!!"

Ok... what does one fails an exam have to do with him/her??? If he /her say: "Hey, I'm just being concerned." Ya concerned alright, why can't he/she be a little more sensitive towards how others will feel when they make such remarks???

Seriously...

ZincOxide ZnO