Yeap, I've finally reached my breaking point.
Suppression doesn't work... at all. In the end, when I break down crying, I don't even know why and what I'm crying for...
I've fallen yet again in to that hole...
Worst part is, I don't even feel better after crying...
Anyway, I'm very tired with myself again. I thought all the going out will take my troubles away, but no... they are always haunting me. Staying at home just makes me feel even worst. I hate being caught in the middle. Didn't know it was that scary... I didn't know what to do... at a lost.. who should I help? I don't know... I have to take a side, take a stand, but either side will hurt either party... my mind is in a mess... it was really awful.
I tried to make myself forget... but no! I just can't let go!!! What should I do?!
I'm neither here nor there.
I'm simple yet I'm complicated, which makes me as a person even more complex. I expect complexity out of simplicity... too 'deep' for you? Yes, thats me.
I want to escape, leave everything behind... Just be happy for a day... just a day... is it that hard???
I'm not happy.
I'm really not.
I'm very miserable....
Jean