My mood hasn't improve much since 31 dec 2010.
Theres still a nagging frustration inside me, which I cannot ignore.
Yea, I guess its pretty obvious, I love to escape. Its like a pain killer, ya, it soothes your pain now, but the pain will come back eventually.
I realised only 2 things in life can sway my emotions to both sides of the extreme. And I realised, no matter how selfish I am, I live for them. Whichever decisions I make are because of them. Its hard for me not to do so, because I've been doing that for years, and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. Yes, its tiring and suffocating. I resent it, I dislike it, but I'll still do it, because I want them to be happy.
I realised, only Net knows me the best. Its like we have that telepathy which enable us to even predict accurately what one another will say next and what one another are thinking about. I know when she is not alright, likewise, she can sense when I'm not feeling okay. I'm really thankful to have her as my sister, because she is the one who is there when I'm unhappy, and will tolerate me everytime when I rant and flare up when I'm irritated (when she is not the one at fault).
Anyway, further rants will only be a repetition, shall end it here.
Jean