Walked home with Net today. Net does all the talking while I remained silent, the atmosphere was like, as if Net was talking to herself or maybe to a mute, which would be me. I mean at the very least, I think so myself...
Net: And so... (Noticed that I wasn't paying attention) Hello??? Am I talking to a log, a mute or myself??? Could you at least give me some response???
Me: Hi.
Net: For goodness sake... What happened to you??? Again???
Me: Nothing.
Net: You are not in your usual self you know???
Me: I know.
Net: Then what happened???
Me: I'm Ok. Just leave me alone, and I'll be alright. I just need some time to think through certain things... thats all.
Net: Ok, Ok. Some times you are really strange, Don't understand what makes you fret all day.
Actually she is right, I don't understand it myself either. All I could say is that I need time. But what are the time needed for? I don't know. Maybe its some sort of excuse for me to escape certain things that I don't wish to face. Or maybe, the thing really needs time to solve.
To my family, my quietness means that I am not in my usual self.
To my friends, my solemness is just some kind of problematic attitude behavior.
To my close friends, my silence is my 'emo' tactics.
To me, it all means that I am seizing whatever chances and opprtunities that I could have, to think through deeply about certain problems which are very urgent to me.
All this solemness would just come and go. So I hereby apologize to those people I may have offended during that past 'emo' period. Thanks for bearing with me. For I really don't know why this good friend of mine come and visit me every now and then.
Sorry.
But now, it is still here with me. most probably would stay with me for another couple of weeks.
Very sorry.
Sayonara
Jean