My stomach/gastric is definitely not co-operating with me.
Nothing is more annoying than feeling nauseous all the time and have to curl up like a small worm on the bed/sofa because of the churning pain in the stomach/gastric.
It all started on Monday, then feeling alot better on Tuesday, then acted up again this morning during Chemistry lecture.
I'm going for a checkup sometime next week or the week after next. Hope everything is fine.
Audition for Six Harmonix was good :D. But because of the surrounding, it sound different from what we heard in the studio. But we are still good!
Press ON!
Jean
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A Photo, A Lie
Everyone was smiling in that family portrait.
Their smiles looked like they came from the bottom of their heart, they all seemed genuine. Everyone appeared to be contented and happy with their current situation or with one another.
However if you look deeper into that portrait, you will realise, their smiles were accompanied by hidden displeasures. If you could look through them, you could see them harboring grudges and resentments towards one another.
How saddening.
The camera managed to capture smiles, but not happiness.
I find it distrubing when I see the picture. I find them hypocritical.
Of course, I joined them too.
Thus that makes me a hypocrite too.
On a side note:
1) Band practice was a total success! We sounded nice. A confident booster. :D Love it to the max.
2) The Buffet was just trying to stuff us to death. It was delicious though. :D
Jean
Their smiles looked like they came from the bottom of their heart, they all seemed genuine. Everyone appeared to be contented and happy with their current situation or with one another.
However if you look deeper into that portrait, you will realise, their smiles were accompanied by hidden displeasures. If you could look through them, you could see them harboring grudges and resentments towards one another.
How saddening.
The camera managed to capture smiles, but not happiness.
I find it distrubing when I see the picture. I find them hypocritical.
Of course, I joined them too.
Thus that makes me a hypocrite too.
On a side note:
1) Band practice was a total success! We sounded nice. A confident booster. :D Love it to the max.
2) The Buffet was just trying to stuff us to death. It was delicious though. :D
Jean
Friday, March 26, 2010
Music and Emotions
Conveying feelings/emotions through music is a magical experience.
The audiences could feel what you feel.
Both parties immersed themselves in a pool of dancing music notes.
Allowing the music to control them, allowing their mood to change according to those melodious songs.
Imagine. The music notes are not just black little dots or little ovals on your music sheet. They are alive!
Can you see them, holding one another, dancing gracefully? Waltz, Tango, Cha-Cha, Salsa, Free Style, Hip Hop... et cetera?
Even if you don't know how to play an instrument, or not mastering them well, don't give up. Because music doesn't judge you. You are more than welcome and qualify to love music. Just listen to them, they are talking to you. They are sharing their feelings with you.
Dance with them, enjoy them, love them. Music is a common language that connects us all.
Jean
The audiences could feel what you feel.
Both parties immersed themselves in a pool of dancing music notes.
Allowing the music to control them, allowing their mood to change according to those melodious songs.
Imagine. The music notes are not just black little dots or little ovals on your music sheet. They are alive!
Can you see them, holding one another, dancing gracefully? Waltz, Tango, Cha-Cha, Salsa, Free Style, Hip Hop... et cetera?
Even if you don't know how to play an instrument, or not mastering them well, don't give up. Because music doesn't judge you. You are more than welcome and qualify to love music. Just listen to them, they are talking to you. They are sharing their feelings with you.
Dance with them, enjoy them, love them. Music is a common language that connects us all.
Jean
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I'M NOT GIVING UP, YA UNDERSTAND???
You can ask me to drop all things that are important to me, BUT YOU CAN NEVER, I MEAN NEVER, ASK ME TO GIVE UP MUSIC, ESPECIALLY PIANO, BECAUSE OF THAT DUMB A LEVELS. I can't tolerate this request even if its just a passing comment.
No matter how many times I'm gonna fail my music exams and piano exams, I'm NEVER going to give it up.
At least when music is around me, I feel confident, secure, happy, relax and complete. I enjoy its presence like every music lover does.
If I can go through O levels without stopping piano, I don't see why I can't cope it when its A levels? Yes I know its a whole new game and they are completely different, but if thats the case, why aren't you asking me to stop CCA for A levels? Why aren't you forbidding me to turn in because of A levels?
YES I'M STUBBORN, BUT I'M NOT IMMATURE.
I'm just trying to hold on to my passion and dream, is it too much?
I'll say it for the last time: NO ONE IS ALLOWED OR QUALIFIED TO ASK ME TO STOP MUSIC/PIANO FOR WHATEVER REASONS.
Especially when you people don't have the slightest idea how much music mean to me.
JEAN
No matter how many times I'm gonna fail my music exams and piano exams, I'm NEVER going to give it up.
At least when music is around me, I feel confident, secure, happy, relax and complete. I enjoy its presence like every music lover does.
If I can go through O levels without stopping piano, I don't see why I can't cope it when its A levels? Yes I know its a whole new game and they are completely different, but if thats the case, why aren't you asking me to stop CCA for A levels? Why aren't you forbidding me to turn in because of A levels?
YES I'M STUBBORN, BUT I'M NOT IMMATURE.
I'm just trying to hold on to my passion and dream, is it too much?
I'll say it for the last time: NO ONE IS ALLOWED OR QUALIFIED TO ASK ME TO STOP MUSIC/PIANO FOR WHATEVER REASONS.
Especially when you people don't have the slightest idea how much music mean to me.
JEAN
Depressed
Its very depressing, for me, when I couldn't reach the pitch of the songs that I'm singing.
Net suggest that I should try "stretching" my vocal cords, so to expand my pitching range. But, what do you know? The process is tiring and discouraging.
Throwing a tantrum is not gonna expand my range, exploiting and abusing my vocal cords will only result in losing it's function to work properly. So I'll have to indulge myself in self pity, feeling sorry for myself that my singing ability is just... purely and plainly average.
Which is depressing because singing is the only thing that I could hold on to, that could make me feel good, confident and proud of myself; Something that enables me to prove to the others that I'm not... talentless and useless.
Now when reality sinks in that my singing ability is just purely and plainly average, I can't help but to feel depressed, to feel like I'm losing the grip on my confidence, to feel like my dreams are shattered, *poof* gone.
And Literature paper was so messed up.
My life can never be more meaningless and depressing than these.
JEAN
Net suggest that I should try "stretching" my vocal cords, so to expand my pitching range. But, what do you know? The process is tiring and discouraging.
Throwing a tantrum is not gonna expand my range, exploiting and abusing my vocal cords will only result in losing it's function to work properly. So I'll have to indulge myself in self pity, feeling sorry for myself that my singing ability is just... purely and plainly average.
Which is depressing because singing is the only thing that I could hold on to, that could make me feel good, confident and proud of myself; Something that enables me to prove to the others that I'm not... talentless and useless.
Now when reality sinks in that my singing ability is just purely and plainly average, I can't help but to feel depressed, to feel like I'm losing the grip on my confidence, to feel like my dreams are shattered, *poof* gone.
And Literature paper was so messed up.
My life can never be more meaningless and depressing than these.
JEAN
Monday, March 22, 2010
Incoherence
My thoughts had been pretty incoherent and disorganize lately.
I'll chunk all my thoughts everywhere possible.
I'm ashamed to admit that they are all nothing but products of my moments of emotional impulse. Very emotionally driven. I guess they are also a result of extreme mental and physical exhaustion; the lack of stamina to run the rat race; the absence of motivation, and not to mention, concentration as well.
You know, you can afford to be inconsistent in your work, study.. et cetera and still be able to catch up if you mug enough.
But if you are practicing inconsistent sleeping hours, no matter how many days you have slept, you will never be able to catch up.
If given a choice, I'll never sacrifice my sleep.
However, as a JC student, if you sleep too much, its a sin.
On a side note: I mugged Econs for 5 days. :D And I can only assure a High S or a Low E. :( So much for sacrificing Chemistry for Econs.
I consider my papers for tomorrow as the SUPER COMBO.
Chemistry and Litearture. :D (Just like having POA and SS on the same day for Sec 4 Prelims.)
I'm prepared to be "extremely" ungraded for Chemistry, and probably, a D for Literature.
I haven't been studying them BECAUSE OF ECONS!!!
OK, I'm quite into Taylor Swift lately.
LOVE: "YOU BELONG WITH ME" AND "PICTURE TO BURN"!!!
Ok, its official, I don't think I'm lucid anymore.
Jean
I'll chunk all my thoughts everywhere possible.
I'm ashamed to admit that they are all nothing but products of my moments of emotional impulse. Very emotionally driven. I guess they are also a result of extreme mental and physical exhaustion; the lack of stamina to run the rat race; the absence of motivation, and not to mention, concentration as well.
You know, you can afford to be inconsistent in your work, study.. et cetera and still be able to catch up if you mug enough.
But if you are practicing inconsistent sleeping hours, no matter how many days you have slept, you will never be able to catch up.
If given a choice, I'll never sacrifice my sleep.
However, as a JC student, if you sleep too much, its a sin.
On a side note: I mugged Econs for 5 days. :D And I can only assure a High S or a Low E. :( So much for sacrificing Chemistry for Econs.
I consider my papers for tomorrow as the SUPER COMBO.
Chemistry and Litearture. :D (Just like having POA and SS on the same day for Sec 4 Prelims.)
I'm prepared to be "extremely" ungraded for Chemistry, and probably, a D for Literature.
I haven't been studying them BECAUSE OF ECONS!!!
OK, I'm quite into Taylor Swift lately.
LOVE: "YOU BELONG WITH ME" AND "PICTURE TO BURN"!!!
Ok, its official, I don't think I'm lucid anymore.
Jean
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Nomalities
Me: I'm tired. I feel like sleeping for 24 hours and not wake up.
Them: NO, You have to drag yourself up because sleeping for 24 hours is abnormal.
Me: I want to direct a movie.
Them: NO, its too instable for a job. You need to find something stable... and perhaps something normal.
Me: I just want to play my music.
Them: NO, you should start studying, like a normal student does.
Me: I ...
I find it pointless to say anymore.
They expect me to conform to the norm, but that doesn't mean I'll have to succumb to their expectations.
I had enough of being normal. Being normal is just not me, not JEAN.
I had enough of being trapped in a cage. Trapped in a cage of normalities/expectations/standards and whatnot. I had enough of being controlled, being told what to do and not do.
I'm dying to break free.
...
PS: You're tired, that goes the same for me. Don't vent your frustrations on me because I don't take it out on you when I'm tired. Vent it on your teddy bear or something, I'm not your punching bag.
Jean
Them: NO, You have to drag yourself up because sleeping for 24 hours is abnormal.
Me: I want to direct a movie.
Them: NO, its too instable for a job. You need to find something stable... and perhaps something normal.
Me: I just want to play my music.
Them: NO, you should start studying, like a normal student does.
Me: I ...
I find it pointless to say anymore.
They expect me to conform to the norm, but that doesn't mean I'll have to succumb to their expectations.
I had enough of being normal. Being normal is just not me, not JEAN.
I had enough of being trapped in a cage. Trapped in a cage of normalities/expectations/standards and whatnot. I had enough of being controlled, being told what to do and not do.
I'm dying to break free.
...
PS: You're tired, that goes the same for me. Don't vent your frustrations on me because I don't take it out on you when I'm tired. Vent it on your teddy bear or something, I'm not your punching bag.
Jean
Friday, March 19, 2010
Unextinguished Passion/Dream
I'm annoyed by the fact that whenever I suggest to go somewhere, do something, or whatnot, the standard replies that I'll always receive would be: "Can we discuss/decide that after your exams?"
Ever since I could remember, I have been going through exams year after year, year after year, and year after year! It's like a on-going vicious cycle!
Years without major exams, you will always have those sickening Final Year Examinations to keep you company. If you perform badly for these exams, undesirable consequences await you.
So to prevent us from facing those undesirable consequences, we will have to, or rather we are expected to study day in, day out and all entertainments shall not be entertained.
Years with major exams??? Need I say more? (Its just simply a SIN to rest)
Hence, according to them, I guess, naturally, plannings for all the years will be "postponed indefinitely til further notice", because of those examinations that are almost never ending!
So, "Can we decide/discuss them after your exams?" will just be another lie to patronize or shoo us little kids off. They never really meant it, they just said it for the sake of saying.
So much for having a dream, a passion. Whats the use of haboring them when eventually, they will all be extinguished by all these lies and of course, reality?
Well, all I know is without dreams, I would feel incomplete.
No, I'll rephrase myself, without dreams, I know I'm incomplete.
Unlike them, pathetic creatures, who are so apathetic to everything in this world, I have dreams. And I know one day, I'll fulfil them one by one, regardless how fantastical or unrealistic they might be.
I'm whole because I can dream, and I have dreams.
What about you?
Jean
Ever since I could remember, I have been going through exams year after year, year after year, and year after year! It's like a on-going vicious cycle!
Years without major exams, you will always have those sickening Final Year Examinations to keep you company. If you perform badly for these exams, undesirable consequences await you.
So to prevent us from facing those undesirable consequences, we will have to, or rather we are expected to study day in, day out and all entertainments shall not be entertained.
Years with major exams??? Need I say more? (Its just simply a SIN to rest)
Hence, according to them, I guess, naturally, plannings for all the years will be "postponed indefinitely til further notice", because of those examinations that are almost never ending!
So, "Can we decide/discuss them after your exams?" will just be another lie to patronize or shoo us little kids off. They never really meant it, they just said it for the sake of saying.
Aren't they tired of giving empty promises?
Well, if they are not, I am. I'm tired of them. I'm tired of always hearing them, telling me to put things off after exams and whatnot because they are not as important.
So what is important? Diminishing my dreams?
So much for having a dream, a passion. Whats the use of haboring them when eventually, they will all be extinguished by all these lies and of course, reality?
Well, all I know is without dreams, I would feel incomplete.
No, I'll rephrase myself, without dreams, I know I'm incomplete.
Unlike them, pathetic creatures, who are so apathetic to everything in this world, I have dreams. And I know one day, I'll fulfil them one by one, regardless how fantastical or unrealistic they might be.
I'm whole because I can dream, and I have dreams.
What about you?
Jean
Monday, March 15, 2010
Title
(OK, I know, I'm pretty bad at naming my entries, so stop harping on it.)
First of all, Guitar practice today.
Lots of improvemant for Sleepers Awake! (*CLAP *CLAP)
Lots of improvement for Gavotte as well, but still rushing. :D
Still need to work on Summer Breeze.
Secondly, that capo for the Cadenza SR-383 is a nuisance.
I've spent HALF AN HOUR just to set things right.
Regardless which position I clipped the capo on, the E string either buzzes or simply just mute itself. Like for gawd sake, please, capo, cooperate alright?
Thirdly, I felt threatened.
I need to start practicing the vocal part for "Love Story".
Tomorrow theres Econs! My favourite subject!!! YAY!!!
OK~ a little over-board...
Jean
First of all, Guitar practice today.
Lots of improvemant for Sleepers Awake! (*CLAP *CLAP)
Lots of improvement for Gavotte as well, but still rushing. :D
Still need to work on Summer Breeze.
Secondly, that capo for the Cadenza SR-383 is a nuisance.
I've spent HALF AN HOUR just to set things right.
Regardless which position I clipped the capo on, the E string either buzzes or simply just mute itself. Like for gawd sake, please, capo, cooperate alright?
Thirdly, I felt threatened.
I need to start practicing the vocal part for "Love Story".
Tomorrow theres Econs! My favourite subject!!! YAY!!!
OK~ a little over-board...
Jean
Sunday, March 14, 2010
杂谈
我开始认为我的华语程度逐渐‘下降’。
曾经能够流利运用华语的我，现在已沦落到得依赖线上的翻译字典来辅助我，替我表达所有我想说，想写的地步。
惭愧。
谈谈音乐。
我与音乐就像是一对经常斗嘴的夫妻。有时互打冷战，有时又十分恩爱。
冷战，因为对于音乐方面的成就遇到了瓶颈。
“恩爱”，因为在音乐的领域里，我又突破了自己的极限。
现在我们“两夫妻”正处于“恩爱”的阶段。祝福我们吧！呵呵！
有时...
心里有很多话想说，但经常不知从何说起。
心里有很多事想做，但却被莫名的压力给束缚着。
心里有满满的志愿与理想，但往往被现实给磨灭，给摧残。
我感觉我像是一个玩偶，一个傀儡，被世间所有的制度给控制，被左右。
我想要有自己的决定权，我渴望自由。
我想逃离现实与压力，想逃到一个与世隔绝的荒岛隐居。
我想要冒险，想跳出这安全的框框。
但...我没有这个勇气。我是懦弱的。
一切一切，都是空谈。
在地球的另一端，有多少个19岁的孩子，已在这世界上发光发热？
又有几个19岁的孩子会像我一样，老坐在电脑面前，打着博客，自怨自艾？
我有机会完成自己的梦想吗？
被控制，被束缚，使我窒息。
我好累...
一切一切又是为了什么？
19年以来，第一次感到那么力不从心，身心疲惫...
Jean
曾经能够流利运用华语的我，现在已沦落到得依赖线上的翻译字典来辅助我，替我表达所有我想说，想写的地步。
惭愧。
谈谈音乐。
我与音乐就像是一对经常斗嘴的夫妻。有时互打冷战，有时又十分恩爱。
冷战，因为对于音乐方面的成就遇到了瓶颈。
“恩爱”，因为在音乐的领域里，我又突破了自己的极限。
现在我们“两夫妻”正处于“恩爱”的阶段。祝福我们吧！呵呵！
有时...
心里有很多话想说，但经常不知从何说起。
心里有很多事想做，但却被莫名的压力给束缚着。
心里有满满的志愿与理想，但往往被现实给磨灭，给摧残。
我感觉我像是一个玩偶，一个傀儡，被世间所有的制度给控制，被左右。
我想要有自己的决定权，我渴望自由。
我想逃离现实与压力，想逃到一个与世隔绝的荒岛隐居。
我想要冒险，想跳出这安全的框框。
但...我没有这个勇气。我是懦弱的。
一切一切，都是空谈。
在地球的另一端，有多少个19岁的孩子，已在这世界上发光发热？
又有几个19岁的孩子会像我一样，老坐在电脑面前，打着博客，自怨自艾？
我有机会完成自己的梦想吗？
被控制，被束缚，使我窒息。
我好累...
一切一切又是为了什么？
19年以来，第一次感到那么力不从心，身心疲惫...
Jean
Saturday, March 13, 2010
随想
阿嬷，曾经是我的邻居。
她就住在我对面。
住在一间说大不大，说小不小的四房公寓单位。
在这几十年里，我们一家子，已习惯了互相依靠，习惯了相互照顾，习惯了那持续不断的来往，也习惯了彼此的存在。
两个月前，阿嬷搬家了。
我们开始少了来往，突然没了依靠，没了照应，对方存在的感觉便在一瞬间消逝无迹。
曾经把对方当作理所当然的我，开始感觉不习惯。
我讨厌变化。
但我知道有些时候，人，不得不变。
我得学会接受改变。
每当我望着对面那空荡荡的四房公寓单位，心中便有着一种莫名的伤感。
我是一个很不称职的孙女。
虽然阿嬷长期住在我家对面，但不知为何，我跟阿嬷之间却存在着一种陌生又亲近的关系。
这种关系，因为阿嬷的搬离，变得更有距离了。
去她的新家探访她时，她会有意无意的提起要我跟妹妹在她家逗留个两三天。
我感觉得出她对我们的思念。
但因为课业繁忙，我们都迟迟没有那么做。
惭愧。
我也只能用这两个字发泄自己心中的情绪。
因为我在心中，对于阿嬷，除了惭愧还是满满的惭愧。
我不是一个称职的孙女。
Jean
她就住在我对面。
住在一间说大不大，说小不小的四房公寓单位。
在这几十年里，我们一家子，已习惯了互相依靠，习惯了相互照顾，习惯了那持续不断的来往，也习惯了彼此的存在。
两个月前，阿嬷搬家了。
我们开始少了来往，突然没了依靠，没了照应，对方存在的感觉便在一瞬间消逝无迹。
曾经把对方当作理所当然的我，开始感觉不习惯。
我讨厌变化。
但我知道有些时候，人，不得不变。
我得学会接受改变。
每当我望着对面那空荡荡的四房公寓单位，心中便有着一种莫名的伤感。
我是一个很不称职的孙女。
虽然阿嬷长期住在我家对面，但不知为何，我跟阿嬷之间却存在着一种陌生又亲近的关系。
这种关系，因为阿嬷的搬离，变得更有距离了。
去她的新家探访她时，她会有意无意的提起要我跟妹妹在她家逗留个两三天。
我感觉得出她对我们的思念。
但因为课业繁忙，我们都迟迟没有那么做。
惭愧。
我也只能用这两个字发泄自己心中的情绪。
因为我在心中，对于阿嬷，除了惭愧还是满满的惭愧。
我不是一个称职的孙女。
Jean
Friday, March 12, 2010
Like... OH MY GAWD!!!
Like.. OH. MY. GAWD?!?!?!
Aunt Kim loan me her Acoustic Guitar.
*Handcrafted from Korea model Cadenza SR383
Wooo Boy, you bet I'm thrilled!
I'm SOOOO gonna use it for the concert.
Like... OH. MY. GAWD?!?!?!
I can never be happier than this!!!
THANK YOU!!! '
Jean :D
Aunt Kim loan me her Acoustic Guitar.
*Handcrafted from Korea model Cadenza SR383
Wooo Boy, you bet I'm thrilled!
I'm SOOOO gonna use it for the concert.
Like... OH. MY. GAWD?!?!?!
I can never be happier than this!!!
THANK YOU!!! '
Jean :D
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Refusal to conform
Relating another issue in Disgrace (by JM Coetzee) to myself.
Usually, when I'm presented with some intellectual insights, or being enlightened by some philosophical theories, I'll happily acknowledge/recognise their existence, however, that doesn't mean that I'll have to agree with them.
Yes, they might be right, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
I trust and hold on to my views and perspectives strongly. Unless, people could somehow or rather, persuade me to drop my perspectives and take theirs... I'll never budge.
Refusal to conform I guess?
Jean
Usually, when I'm presented with some intellectual insights, or being enlightened by some philosophical theories, I'll happily acknowledge/recognise their existence, however, that doesn't mean that I'll have to agree with them.
Yes, they might be right, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
I trust and hold on to my views and perspectives strongly. Unless, people could somehow or rather, persuade me to drop my perspectives and take theirs... I'll never budge.
Refusal to conform I guess?
Jean
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Judged
I love Disgrace (By JM Coetzee) to the max.
Disgrace is a novel that triggers critical thinking, and it presents me with insightful perspectives to all possible things around me.
My literature teacher raised this issue a few weeks ago, while going through the text with the class:
"Who is qualify to speak for who?"
I find people who does not understand my plight, who doesn't understand me, and yet goes around trying to justify my decisions or criticize me, based on their judgments are simply annoying.
Then I realised...
Maybe thats why she chose to reject the help offered?
Because she felt that no one is qualified to speak for her/ judge her because they will never be able to understand her?
Just like how I find it irritating, I guess she felt that too?
Imposing personal views and judgments on to someone could be burdening and suffocating. (Well, at the very least, I felt that way.)
The funny thing is, as much as I've said above (that I "violently" reject judgments from other people.) still... ...
I'm judgmental.
Sense the irony?
Jean
Disgrace is a novel that triggers critical thinking, and it presents me with insightful perspectives to all possible things around me.
My literature teacher raised this issue a few weeks ago, while going through the text with the class:
"Who is qualify to speak for who?"
I find people who does not understand my plight, who doesn't understand me, and yet goes around trying to justify my decisions or criticize me, based on their judgments are simply annoying.
Then I realised...
Maybe thats why she chose to reject the help offered?
Because she felt that no one is qualified to speak for her/ judge her because they will never be able to understand her?
Just like how I find it irritating, I guess she felt that too?
Imposing personal views and judgments on to someone could be burdening and suffocating. (Well, at the very least, I felt that way.)
The funny thing is, as much as I've said above (that I "violently" reject judgments from other people.) still... ...
I'm judgmental.
Sense the irony?
Jean
Friday, March 5, 2010
Sinking in
(I'm waiting for my dinner to arrive.)
So heres a short post.
I GOT AN 'A' FOR MY H1 CHINESE!!! Congratulate me people!!! Haha!!!
Today, reality sinks in even further.
"A levels ain't that easy babe."
Finally someone had knocked some sense into me.
(Ding Dong! Oh heres my dinner!!!)
(Munching the burger.)
Ok, gotta go~
Jean
So heres a short post.
I GOT AN 'A' FOR MY H1 CHINESE!!! Congratulate me people!!! Haha!!!
Today, reality sinks in even further.
"A levels ain't that easy babe."
Finally someone had knocked some sense into me.
(Ding Dong! Oh heres my dinner!!!)
(Munching the burger.)
Ok, gotta go~
Jean
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Question and Answer
I was writing my Literature essay on Disgrace (By JM Coetzee).
To summarize, I was questioned if I'm agreeable to the view on how readers are invited to understand and sympathize with David Lurie instead of condemning him for what he did.
Since, what I wrote in my essay is utter rubbish (because I'm not in a sober state of mind to write a Literature essay.) I'm not going to type out my essay in this post.
In fact, this essay question has led me to a question that I've been asking myself for quite a while:
"Have I been condemning people because I failed to sympathize their plight and/or understand them?"
(Its undeniable that I'm judgmental, and to me, first impression is extremely important. So I guess, Ya, I do.)
Then I question myself again:
"Did I ever deny anyone of their chance to something or to do something just because they screwed up at their first try?"
(No, so far, I'm not that evil...yet)
Then it led me further, to the issue of selecting members for the GE competition. Hence I question myself again:
"Should I reject those who doesn't have the aptitude but has a positive attitude or those who has the aptitude but with a terrible attitude?" (NO, its not a tongue twister!)
I don't have the answer to that question. I'm still thinking.
Jean
To summarize, I was questioned if I'm agreeable to the view on how readers are invited to understand and sympathize with David Lurie instead of condemning him for what he did.
Since, what I wrote in my essay is utter rubbish (because I'm not in a sober state of mind to write a Literature essay.) I'm not going to type out my essay in this post.
In fact, this essay question has led me to a question that I've been asking myself for quite a while:
"Have I been condemning people because I failed to sympathize their plight and/or understand them?"
(Its undeniable that I'm judgmental, and to me, first impression is extremely important. So I guess, Ya, I do.)
Then I question myself again:
"Did I ever deny anyone of their chance to something or to do something just because they screwed up at their first try?"
(No, so far, I'm not that evil...yet)
Then it led me further, to the issue of selecting members for the GE competition. Hence I question myself again:
"Should I reject those who doesn't have the aptitude but has a positive attitude or those who has the aptitude but with a terrible attitude?" (NO, its not a tongue twister!)
I don't have the answer to that question. I'm still thinking.
Jean
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Thoughts
I'm pretty upset with myself today.
Despite all the practicing and memorizing, I still couldn't get all the notes right.
Gavotte is fine... Summer Breeze is still OK... Sleepers Awake was a huge disappointment. (The thought of/ the fact that I've spent all my weekends playing the song and still unable to get it right, is just plain frustrating.)
I guess I'm too used to listening to my own sound, so when it comes to playing the songs with the whole ensemble, I find it quite challenging (Largely could be because I can't hear myself). Well, now I need to familiarize myself with the notes (MORE), and try to pay (MORE) attention during ensemble sessions.
However, I'm very happy with the ensemble's performance today. I sense improvement, and I thought the sound produced was quite engaging. Hmmm... however, it was pretty untidy at some parts here and there, but overall, I would say, its a great leap from the previous session. :D (*Applause!! *Clap Clap Clap!!!)
The NTU (Nanyang Business School: Bachelor of Accountancy) talk had assured my path after A levels. Accountancy may not be the love of my life, but I've nothing against it. Especially when I have the foundation of Accounting in me, I think it'll make my life a tiny-bit easier when I'm in university. Of course, the premise is that I've done VERY WELL for A levels. If not, I'll go for ACCA, which is also another possible route to accountancy. :D Nevertheless, I'll try my best to strive for excellence, and get myself admit into NTU, Nanyang Business School. :D
And YES, thats my next goal in life.
But now, an easily achievable aim to look forward to before I could achieve my goal in life: TRY NOT TO DOZE OFF DURING TUTORIALS.
Jean
Despite all the practicing and memorizing, I still couldn't get all the notes right.
Gavotte is fine... Summer Breeze is still OK... Sleepers Awake was a huge disappointment. (The thought of/ the fact that I've spent all my weekends playing the song and still unable to get it right, is just plain frustrating.)
I guess I'm too used to listening to my own sound, so when it comes to playing the songs with the whole ensemble, I find it quite challenging (Largely could be because I can't hear myself). Well, now I need to familiarize myself with the notes (MORE), and try to pay (MORE) attention during ensemble sessions.
However, I'm very happy with the ensemble's performance today. I sense improvement, and I thought the sound produced was quite engaging. Hmmm... however, it was pretty untidy at some parts here and there, but overall, I would say, its a great leap from the previous session. :D (*Applause!! *Clap Clap Clap!!!)
The NTU (Nanyang Business School: Bachelor of Accountancy) talk had assured my path after A levels. Accountancy may not be the love of my life, but I've nothing against it. Especially when I have the foundation of Accounting in me, I think it'll make my life a tiny-bit easier when I'm in university. Of course, the premise is that I've done VERY WELL for A levels. If not, I'll go for ACCA, which is also another possible route to accountancy. :D Nevertheless, I'll try my best to strive for excellence, and get myself admit into NTU, Nanyang Business School. :D
And YES, thats my next goal in life.
But now, an easily achievable aim to look forward to before I could achieve my goal in life: TRY NOT TO DOZE OFF DURING TUTORIALS.
Jean
Monday, March 1, 2010
We Forgive and Forget :D
(After all the turmoils we've have been through.)
Don't worry guys. We forgive you :D
Jean
Don't worry guys. We forgive you :D
Jean