Its Christmas!!! Yeah, its a joyful day, a joyful occasion. I should be pretty much be in a jubilant mood, but I'm always being reminded of what mummy told me yesterday.
Nothing unpleasant, but her words trigger my worries... her words.... I just simply cannot forget.
She make sense, she is most probably right, and thats what scares me the most.
Maybe I should just ignore the nagging worry, let it ring in my head and just ignore, but as much as I love to escape, I'm sick of escaping. But I cannot find an answer, and that bugs me a lot.
I don't want to be controlling, I know I am, so I'm correcting myself, this flaw.
But I'm weaker than I thought. Me, my heart really cannot withstand setbacks, so I plan never to fail. I may settle for simplicity, but to a certain extent, I'm a perfectionist. Yes I am. Its complicated, anyone understands?
The more perfect people think I am, the more exectations I have to meet, the more load I'll need to bear.
Its tiring.
I know.
Jean