I accidentally cut myself with a piece of paper. It was quite a deep one for a paper cut. Well it hurts, but I didn't sit on the floor and wail like a child. Instead, I stared at the wound and laugh at my own clumsiness.
Then it set me thinking. Just like Tuesday, when I had my medical leave because of gastric, I arranged to attend piano lesson that day, because I knew I would have CNY plannings this evening. My teacher was astounded by how I could drag myself to lesson and could still joke with her despite the churning pain I was going through inside me.
'You do put up a very strong front, eh Jean?' she asked. I agreed.
Today, my friend commented that she didn't know that I actually like to talk so much. I was stunned. I was so busy hiding my wound, that I didn't realised that I was already over-doing it. So, when I appear to be that OK, I guess I'm not really that OK.
I seldom cry. The more I'm in pain, the more hurt I am, the stronger 'the front' that I put up would be. I never cry. So when I actually cry for something, its (really) a great deal.
...
Oh, on a side note, 3 more days to CNY. (Yes I'm STILL counting down. I can't believe we don't have any CNY celebration. and I have test tomorrow! OMG!)
Jean