My life is pathetic.
I've nothing to look forward to anymore.
When I still have TPGE, at least I've somewhere to chill and hang out after a long and exhausting day/week.
When all has ended. I'm alone. I'm empty. I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know how many can understand, but all the restrictions and expectations are overbearing.
I have no idea how having an electric guitar is distracting. I didn't wanna ask, because they are going to give me the same answer all over again.
I'm feeling numb, and indifferent.
Everything seems so meaningless.
I can't seem to find the direction.
Frankly speaking. I'm lost again. Or perhaps, I never had found my way? Perhaps... I'm always lost.
I don't know why, this year has been so tiring for me.
Maybe not doing anything would make me feel happier.
Maybe just stare blankly to some random space would make me feel better.
I question the purpose of my existence.
I don't feel whole. I feel a hole inside me. Hollow.
I can't emphasize my emptiness any further. Because when its empty, its empty.
Maybe in the near future, I'll start to lose my senses. I'll forget how to smile, how to laugh, how to joke. Maybe the fun side of Jean will be gone... Soon... Or maybe, it's gone already... I don't know.
Like what my friend said, we will get more and more tired, more and more cranky as the day goes by... Tolerance level will decrease by the second.
Yes, I couldn't agree more.
It has never been so difficult. I don't understand. Nothing is going right for me.
PS: Should I still fight for my guitar?
Empty... Hollow
Jean