Ya know... after tonight, it would be the ultimate hell for me.
I'm going through a mixed of feelings here... I fear, I'm vexed, but at the same time I know I totally deserve it - I don't pity myself.
How long do I have to run in order to finish the race? Why does it seems like no matter how much and how long I've ran, I'm still no where near the finishing line? Is tomorrow the last lap? When is the last lap? Quick... I need to end this soon, I'm out of stamina... how many times do I have to repeat myself, that I'm out of breath, that I'm too tired to run?
Uncertainties.
Expectations, expectations... nothing but burdens and heavy loads. It seems so easy to say that: "I'm only answerable to myself for my own decisions..." But who on earth doesn't know that, thats nothing but a stupid lie?
How I wish someone could tell me "It's ok to fail..."
But you know...
haha... I guess its impossible.
Jean