(Edited)
I have a confession to make.
I'm guilty of putting up a false front when I'm in front of everyone/others.
So you think you know Jean? Think again.
A false front to protect myself.
A false front to prevent myself from getting hurt... again.
Out of so many split personalities, which Jean is the real Jean?
I don't know. You tell me.
Well I guess thats why I'm not loved and I failed to love.
Simply because I love myself more.
Simply because I don't know how to love.
Simply because since I can't even be true to myself, how can I be true to others?
I guess if in any case, by any chance, someone (besides Jean's family), accidentally or knowingly discovers the real Jean - The Jean that she has been trying so hard, for so many years, to protect from/against external harms and blemishes - and ultimately be able to accept her.
I guess she has found her Mr. Right.
Who doesn't long for someone who will love you the way you are?
Who doesn't want to be loved because you are yourself and not your facade?
...
If I shed my facade, are you able to accept me?
If I removed my mask, will you tolerate the real Jean... the real me?
If I promised to be myself, would you promise to love me the way I am?
The real Jean...
Sometimes I question....
What if the real Jean - which all along I've thought that she IS the real one - turns out to be just another facade?
Then who exactly is the real Jean?
I don't know...
(I guess this is why I've lost time and time again, to you.
Because you are always you, and you can be you.
But Jean is not Jean. I can't seem to be myself.)
Jean